'Okay, on air.'
*clears throat* 'Hello.' *clears throat* 'This is erm Joe' *high pitched* 'Spivey' *low pitched* 'Spivey' *clears throat* 'Spivey of erm Spivey 's Indeplendent... wait a mo, I got it...Independlent... Bugger!!'
'Hello! This IS JOE SPIVEY SPIVEY PIVEY IVEY...'
'WHAT THE...THE... THE...'
'Oh...sorry... my mistake, sorry.'
'What? Oh yeah. Erm...' *overdone cheerfulness* 'Hello! This is Joe Spivey of Spivey's Indee-pend-dent Traders. Nailed it! And I'm... erm... a trader...and..erm..independent.'
*quietly in background* 'Good that is good...'
'I can provide whatever shit you lazy sods out there need.'
*quietly in background* 'No!...Bad that is bad...'
'What? Look sweatheart, I pushed enough bleedin' chips into this radio thingy so I can say what I damn well like to my-'
*voice in background* 'Customers?'
'I knowwww!' *sniff* 'I didn't come down in the last shower of rain you know. Anyway, yeah customers. Right, AS I was saying. Spivey's Indee-pendent Traders can provide a variety of quality goods and materials to all you punters out there...'
*sound of suck on cigar*
*slight cough in background*
'No junk, mind. This stuff is all kosher. Got the bona-Fides and everthing... well for most of it.'
'What is that switch you keep hovering over? What does it do?'