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Radio Tower Positions - Interviewing the Candidates

SH_Station's picture
Submission type:

They should start arriving soon.

*Joe's voice* Ouch! It still bloody hurts...
    *Allie's voice* This will be so much fun!
*Joe's voice* Right in the kneecap! Right in the kneecap!
    *Gina's voice* Is my poncho on straight?
*Joe's voice* And all over the paintwork as well!

Okay, here they come...

Please come in and take a seat...

Position: Support Broadcaster
Candidate: Mr Samuel Dale

So you would like to be a broadcaster?
You think you are suitable for the role?
More suitable than others?
I see. Well then, this is a new project, one that has had a long and difficult journey, one which will probably have many more difficulties on the way. Some may say that perhaps it is not worth it, but others may argue that in the world today something like this is desperately needed, something to bring people together, to strengthen community, to strengthen the future. But what do you think? Do you think it important?
Hm...you are a man of few words.
Are you sure you want to be a broadcaster?

Position: Janitor
Candidate: Mr John Sitz

So you say you have good skills in facility hygenic operational management. What does that mean?
    Yeah, well stain removal, floater retrieval, spillage reunification, blockage redistribution...
So you have worked on facilities like this radio tower?
    Yes. Well sort of. Well facilities... Toilets mostly. Actually ...only.
        *uncomfortable silence*
    People told me I was suited to this type of work, had the talent.
        *Allie's voice* What's that smell?
    Sorry about that.

Position: Engineer
Candidate: Mr Charlie Brie

So Mr....
    Brie, like the cheese
Mr Brie, why do you want to work with the radio tower?
Sorry, what was that?
    Aliens, I think we can communicate with them with the tower.
Aliens. You mean people from space?
    Yes. Aliens. I've met them before you know.
You have. Oh... we didn't know... er... were they friendly?
    More curious. Yes curious. You know like dogs?
    Yes, curiosity fooled the dog. Or was it chickens?
In what way were they curious?
    Or you know, wanted to get to know me. Inside and Outside.
    Yes, they did... things.
What sort of things?
    Oh...well... *makes various hand gestures*
        *Joe's voice* Bloody 'ell!
        *Allie's voice giggles*
        *Gina's voice* Is that even possible?
And then what happened?
    I married her.
        *sound of someone choking on their tea*

Position: Support Broadcaster
Candidate: Miss Susan Grindel

So, you want to be a broadcaster.
    Oh yes! It would be lovely. Think of all those people! *squeels* I mean all those people out there, hearing your voice!
And you think you would always have something to say?
    Oh yes! I can talk,talk talk! My boyfriend is always telling me I talk too much *giggles* Shut up, he says. But I talk, talk, talk. Just shut the fuck up, he says...oh can I say that? I mean not on the broadcasting of course, no silly, I mean here, in this room? *giggles* Anyway, he is always saying that! Silly him! But I talk and talk! I just love to talk! I talk from the morning right up to nighttime and sometimes I even talk in the night! I think I must even talk in my sleep! *laughs* But talking is good! People should talk. I always talk. Not just to people I know, I talk to people I do not know as well, it is good to talk, just ask my boyfriend, he is always saying I talk too much. I talk a lot. Oh and I can also sing!
Yes, yes, talk is good, and I can see you are indeed a... talker. What sort of things would you want to talk about?
    About? Well, let me see... anything really, I do so love to talk. I would talk about the radio, I would talk about people, yes people always have things that can be talked about, like Mr Jakes, we are all talking about him and about how he is always calling over to Mrs Willem for a quick-
Yes, but what about community, what sort of things could you talk about the community?
    You mean like Mr Jakes?
No. I mean about life around here.
    Oh! Yes, lots! Lots and lots! There is always lots to talk about, people here, people there, things happening, things being hidden. People always hide things, do things they do not want others to know about. Oh yes! We talk a LOT about those things. Everyone is interested in those things. I worked for a doctor once and I found out a lot of things then! Oh yes you would be amazed what difficulties people get themself into. Although the doctor said I should not have been telling people about all that, in fact he told me not to come back, but then I found out that once he... No, I should keep that story. Yes! People would like that one. Yes, lots to talk about there. Oh and did I say I could sing?
Community talk is important, yes, but we must try to unite people not turn them against each other.
    Oh yes of course. You know what unites them? Music! Singing! I can sing, I used to go to the bar with Daddy so I could show him the way home, and there I would sing at the bar for people. Yes, really! People would give me chips. Although I had to promise to be quiet. The barman told me I was bringing too much joy to them and that they must learn to appreciate my talent first. Yes singing is important. Did I say before I can sing?
Yes, I think you mentioned it. So you like to talk, you have talked a lot and you have a lot to talk about,
    And I can sing!
        *Gina's voice* But can you make tea?
And you can sing. Yes. Is there anything else you would like to say?
        *Joe's voice* About bleedin time!

Position: Janitor
Candidate: Ms Bart Doe

So...er...Ms...Bart Doe.... we have one last question....
        *Joe's voice* We want to know about the beard.

Well thank you for coming, we shall be in contact.


Joe Spivey's picture

((ROFLMAO. Brilliant!

Stick with me kid and you'll be farting through silk.

Subdane's picture

((I laughed out loud reading this. Very good :D

Allriae's picture


The 'aliens' part is my favorite! LOL

thank you for this V.V!

Axton Caboose's picture

(( loved it

"Neutrality at it's best."

((Simply amazing, I almost spit out my tea  beer.

((Grand. That old (to.me) alien gag, never fails to make me laugh lol))

*Middle Finger*

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