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Happy Trails (entry fiftee*crossed out* entry 16)

 
Keith Rawkings's picture
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((From the diary of Keith Rawkings))

Women...are vexing creatures...


It had a been a little while since I last seen Ghostlyn in tha bar. Ol Rawkings was bein a good boy. I was tryin real hard not to hit on any gals. I was hopin' ta see her again soon, but I knew dang well if I slipped up it would probably git back ta her. People talk.
But still, goin from 100 ta zero in a day is tough.

I was checkin out some stuff in tha vault in New Flagstaff.  Ya know, pokin tha ol vault door a lot. Seems like somethin everyone does when they go here, so I figured I might as well follow suit, lest they notice somethin was different bout me.

So eer I am, lookin in the vault, makin sure im using ma right hand to poke it a lot while everyone was around, and I saw this tall red head gal. She had like a headband and stuff, and she looked like she was almost wearin like a football vest, but like, tha kind fer women's football.

Cept this one was sexy. Musta been like a football cheer leadin team's uniform she had on.
For some reason I kinda lost sight a what was what and before I knew it I was pretty much usin ma dog to strike up a conversation with the gal. Poopis stinks ta high hell after he eats somethin' but when he's not fartin' he's tha best dang chick magnet you can find. The girl was already scratchin his belly and all.

Well her name was Kaylee. Cute name. I asked her where she was from, and like what she did and stuff.
She said  somethin about "keepin her clan afloat" I asked her if she was like a boat captain er something but she jist starting laughing. She said somethin bout a "scot/celt feel" to her clan er somethin, and I asked er if that meant there was like riverdancin' involved. She was all laughin again. I pictured a bunch a hot irish lookin redheads riverdancin on the deck of a pirate ship. Ya know, Id be steerin tha ship and all with a parrot on ma shoulder.

Things seemed to ba goin real well. She was pettin tha dog. Then a big dog showed up. Fox Dogg to be exact. He plopped somethin on me head. It was some shades. I put em on as I was charmin tha gal and I think it made me look more suave. Think I'm a wear these more often.

Anyway.. I was gitin ready ta move in fer the kill and then Fox like bumped me on the head and started tellin me ta shut up. He was all like mutterin ta me, "knock it off," "don't screw up man."
Took me a minute, but then I snapped outta it and realized I was fergitin all about Ghostlyn and the possibilities from the other day. Yeah, this wasn't worth spolin' a chance with er.

I kindly restrained ma self and excused maself from the lady.
I had ta go like calm ma hormones and take some deep breaths like I had been doin' fer the last couple a days whenever I saw a woman. I mean it wasn't like women stopped bein' attractive er nothin. Rawkings aint a pretty boy like that. It's jist even though I had tha hots fer Ghostlyn, it jist comes natural fer me to talk ta babes like that. Can't help what I am. Gonna have ta work on that I giss.

Anyway, we were chillin by the pond. And Fox bein like half dog er somethin could smell er before I saw her. Ghostlyn was like runnin around the yard. She was like avoidin me er somethin. I tried wavin and stuff and she kept disappearin. I know she saw me. After a couple a minutes a this I started gitin pissed off. I figured at that point tha girl had been toyin with me. Probably like gitin back at me fer lookin so attractive and all. Musta been jealous a me. I kinda took that a sign.
I was poutin a little bit on that bench after she ran off outta sight.
Fox was not far in front a me strikin up conversation with that Tantaya girl from the other day. Another one who wouldn't gimme er name. They think I must aint gonna ask people er somethin. I gives real good descriptions of these women. Like ya know, "the mean one with the iron mask and almost no clothin." "Oh yeah, Tantaya" fer example.
Women, you might as well jist tell me the first time, don't be bashful, cause when Rawkings wants ta find out yer name, he will. Ya cant hide.

Anyway I was gitin on the rebound in ma brain. That was it. Time to go brush Ghostlyn outta ma mind and git back ta what I do best. Macin'

I walked on up to that girl, with a sense a determination, to that point where no man gonna be standin in front a me and tha prize.

I was all like "Hey you! Git away from that Dog. Here's a real man right here." I was all struttin' up, and not determined ta fail.

Well, Fox, embarassed er not, wasn't havin it. He started growlin at me like a dog. He don grabbed me round ma shoulders and started draggin me in the direction a tha pond. I saw this "dog reversion" thing tha other night, and chuckin em peanuts like I did ta Poopis seemed ta divert his attention and make em more docile. Cept I think Fox mighta found his "pills" by now, so the peanut trick wasn't workin.

I tried calmin em to let me down and all, I mean there wasn't no gitin down from that unless he let me. Man's enormous and's got a grip like a pitbull. I pretty much prepared for tha dive in tha pond. Aw well, I needed a bath anyway.

So he threw me in. Shit was cold. I decided ta git even wit em though. I started cryin like "ah I cant swim" and stuff. Ya shoulda seen tha look on his face. He was all like "fuck fuck fuck," outloud and he moved over to tha edge a tha pond.

I giss Tantaya had like the same idea I did, cause as I reached out and grabbed that big boy by the ankle and pulled, she proceeded to laughed and kick him in the ass right into that pond.
It was hilarious. He was a big wet dog now. He muttered and got on out. I found me some soap and started bathin a course.

I invited Tantaya in fer the dip, but she declined. Aw well, I giss she woulda had a hard time controllin 'erself round a naked Rawkings. Maybe deep down she's a nun. Would explain tha chastity mask.

Well after a little while I got outta that pond, I was refreshed and ready ta keep macin' tonight. I only put ma sloppin wet boots and jeans back on. Decided it might suit some gals better if I kept it simple. Some like there men wet and half naked I presume.

I turned around in the other direction of Fox and that gal, and started walkin right over to tha direction a Kaylee, who as ma luck would have it, was still in the park just on the other side a tha pond.
Round 2...

Here I was struttin up in ma wet jeans and no shirt. Lookin all buff fer tha girl. As I got closer though, I seen Ghostlyn runnin up ta her and gitin er ta run away. Now this was bullshit.
Ghostlyn was fuckin with me now. She was watchin me and she was cockblockin me. I was gonna git it tonight one way er another.

I was pretty close as they were heading off in another direction and Ghostlyn turned around and was like "what?" I'm like "where ya goin? I missed ya and all." "Why ya hidin from me?"

She was all wearin goggles and surgical mask. Why, I dunno, maybe so she dont git blood in er eyes and cough on the stench when she blows a man's head off?

Anyway, the "disguise" wasn't workin. She was all like "oh, do you know where the gas station is? I need to find gas?" Too easy. I offered ta fill er engine up maself if ya know what I mean. I asked er if she missed me. She was all like "who?" and then like "how can you know who I am?"

Obviously this girl doesn't understand how the Rawkings brain works. I catalog every woman I meet.
Ya know, hair color, eyes, voice, accent, legs, butt, tattoos, etc.

That girl must be crazy thinkin I can't recognize that sexy accent and them unique curves bustin' outta that black armor. Tha shit that's been keepin me up at night.
Please, don't insult me.

So she gave up and admitted it was her. Cept she wasn't in the most pleasant a moods. She was all like "what you want?" I told er I got somethin fer er this time,and it was better than flowers, and I had it on ma horse. I told er ta jist stay there and let me go and git it. She was all like "whatever man, go."

So I'm all runnin in ma waterlogged pants and boots back to ma horse, and I turn around and see she's like jist about outta sight again. Fox was like "hey man run after her!" But I bout had enough a this gal toyin with ma heart. I was gittin crushed and angry at this point.
I was yellin at em as he ran after her in that direction, ta dont bother. I thought he figured he'd try his luck on er. Whatever. Sloppy seconds.
I settled down and had me a blunt fer a little while. Good thing I keep ma shit in a ziplock. Woulda been a tradgedy if I had wet weed at this point.

So, some time passes. And I figure to maself, "Welp, fuck it" "Time ta move on."
I got right back up on ma horse and started searchin around fer ma next kill.

Then I saw ol Carol Five pokin tha ol vault door. Bingo...
I kindly got her attention from the top a ma horse. Noticed she was wearin green again. Used ma line about how wearin green "brings ya luck, and its yer lucky day," ta her. She was like "oh is it now?"

Then I hear it from the corner a ma shoulder "I hate you" in that feminine eastern Euro voice.
Fuck.
I expected ta turn around and find another gun pointed in ma face.
Sure as shit, it was Ghostlyn. Fuckin snuck up on me again.

I was all like "hey thar Ghostlyn! Thought ya run out? Why ya here?"

She was like "come down."

I was like fuck, I'm gitin shot, she just must like horses and dont wanna accidentally hit mine. Since I can't clone Old Overholt, I proceeded ta git off and accept a bullet now.

I approached er carefully and asked her not ta bite. Told her how she missed er present.
Couldn't help but eye up them curves again.

She was jist starin' at me with a funny look. She got all close and I jist about got tha line outta ma mouth "starin at all this eh?" when it happened....


She grabbed me by the clone collar and gave me a huge kiss on the lips and ran her tongue on ma neck.

Let me jist tell ya somethin' ... GOT .....DAMN.....

I was like "damnnnn, oooo," then I started stutterin' Losin ma game voice.
She was like "ya happy now?"

I think I was like "yeaaaahhh,"
She was like "grats, can you take some shirt?" in that sexy accent again.
I told er I thought she liked me  like that and that ma clothes were all wet.

She was like "take some wear now, or I kill you here."
Whope! I put ma fuckin' shirt back on real quick!

Then she smiled. I liked that a whole lot. She has a pretty smile.
I winked at her. Now was the time to give her that present.

But she had me like at her fingertips. I mean like I thought I did, but now I dont know!
She was all like strokin ma hair and sendin tingles up ma spine.

She was like "I hate you really you know? Love is not my style."
I was jist like "gal...many women hate me. But I only let you hate me like this."
Then I was all puttin ma hands around er waist and grinnin at er.

Then she said "I spoke with your Foxx. I hate him too." Then I pondered fer a split second just what the fuck that meant. But even though tha nasty jealous part a me thought one thing, then I got it.
Fox went and talked ta her. Whatever he said, I fuckin owed him BIG. She musta hated em a little fer makin her come ta grips with her feelings fer me.

She was tellin me like what Fox said ta her a little. Something about about him and her being "warriors" but that I was a "warrior with a smile." And I do talk a lot hehe. Must be that I use ma charm as ma main weapon in tha war fer love.
I was tellin er I liked er smile so much she should do that more often. Course, I guess in her line a work, that might be like a contradiction to what she had ta do to people.

So we were all in a caress and kissin and chit chattin and stuff, I was tellin er how much I like er stuff cause she's so dang tough. She was all askin how come I was bigger than her, I told er cause I lift boxes and stuff, hehe, but now that I think about it, maybe she meant I was "bigger than her" in another way at that moment.

She brought up sybil and she brought up Mr Levi, tellin me he might be her next target and to stay away from him. I had to think about this but a course I was gonna promise her anything. Course at the time, I knew the unfinished business me and Mr Levi had involvin tha drug deal was gonna git a whole lot more complicated now. He already fronted me some of tha money and I had to make good and honor that deal. Jist one more dealin with him and I could git out. Besides. I needed money ta buy ma woman stuff.

She was basically tellin' me ta stay outta danger in general. I giss she like gits in enough danger fet tha both a us.  I told er Id watch ma mouth around them scary people too. This pleased her and made her smile again.

I started whisperin something poetic I came up with by tha campfire the other night. I wrote it down and memorized it, waitin fer tha chance. I spoke it in er ear:

"I'd walk through fire..."

Ghostlyn kissed me again. I kissed er back and she told me to slow down with tha speed a ma talkin.
I continued...

"I'd dodge blades"

She made a chuckle..

"If only you'd let me see those eyes, by takin off them shades"

You was like "You're crazy you know that?"
I was like "Yes I am. I wanna see yer eyes. I jist know they shine. Jist once."

She took those glasses down and I was stunned. She had beautiful green eyes. They shined like emeralds.

You was like "you happy?" I was like "yes."

I kept tryin ta slow down ma chatter, but it can be hard ta do. Except somethin bout that girl makes me shut up at the same time when I wanna run ma mouth like 100 miles per hour.

She put the shades back on, then I showed her my badass ones Fox gave me and she seemed ta like the look.

Speakin a Fox, he showed up right then. He was like hidin behind ma horse the whole time, listenin in I think! Tha dawg.
She acknowledged she knew em.
I decided ta go git ma present fer her off tha horse.
I went and lifted that big ol wooden box off tha horse and had to kinda drop it for a minute.
Shit was heavy. She knew it and was like "Stop, dont hurt yourself. You crazy, you'll get hernia" I tried ta lift it again and Fox was like inisistin for me to cut it out and let him help.

But first, I had ta surpise her. She was all askin what is was, and I got a hammer and pulled some nails off tha lid to reveal to her it. I got her 1000 rounds a heavy pistol ammo. Figured she'd like that better than the flowers and find em more useful.
I was all grinnin when she looked into tha box, and was like "better than flowers eh?"
She was like "the flowers look good"
I scratched ma head and said "gal yer so vexin!"
But then she admitted it was a "real sweet gift" and winked with a smile at me.

Then she went and got her dune buggy ta back up to where the ammo box was. Fox lifted it for me, thank god, cause I was coughin at this point from how heavy it was. He loaded it up in the buggy.

Anyway, we bullshitted a little after that. She showed fox er guns. He was all like "those are nice, I used ta use those till I got these." I was like whisperin to em "don't piss er off." But she seemed impressed by what guns he was packin.

A couple a idiots started firin off grenades in the park. Ghostlyn almost shot them. I was like gesturin for them to run away and they did. Ya know, the usual violence in the grand canyon.

She got tired and had ta go. I bid her goodbye and kissed er again and all. I watched er go away, and I was like in a trance. Fox snapped me outta it. He was like "you owe me big."
Then I asked him "fuck you git her to come around?"
He basically said that he told her I died fightin' by his side and how much I like her.
Which was all true, so I'm glad that convinced her.

All in all it was a good day. This looks like the start a somethin beautiful.

Ya know, Fox Dog is a good buddy. Kept me from fuckin all that up. Now I understand. I'll remember that.

Comments

((LOVED every word!  Thanks for this post!))

Fox's picture

((see...im not so bad!

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Rattell's picture

( I can't help smiling every time I read a Rawkings post :-D )

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Lost Bride's picture

(( from Rawking's thread head

... seems he got all the good cards here :D ))


"There was a girl, a girl named Lost. Her eyes, they were like frost" - from the infernal journal of Zane Gore

Iniya's picture

((Pokin' the ol' vault....LMAO :D

Anybody taking bets on how fast Rawkings gets tired of being a one woman man now that the chase is over? :P))

Hugs: There are far too many broken hearts.  Fortunately, anyone can be a mechanic!

Fox's picture

((He'll last im sure of it..or he'll get shot..in the nuts a few dozen times

 

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Iniya's picture

((Mark my words, Rawkings will be skirt-chasing again soon enough, lol))

Hugs: There are far too many broken hearts.  Fortunately, anyone can be a mechanic!

Fox's picture

((suuuure...and ill just smack him across the head again..or slam his head into a cars hood for a bit..))

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(Just the right amount of sillyness to pull me out of my funk.  Tks Rawkings)

Muse's picture

((Hahaha, I swear I never get tired of reading about your adventures with Rawkings. So funny and adorable in his way. I love it! Glad to see you writing longer bits again too. Keep them coming? Pretty please with a strawberry on top?))

Keith Rawkings's picture

((Thanks for the comments folks. I had this one in my brain for about a week now. Was just being lazy. Next one will probably be a serious one about some serious stuff that happened. I try to intersperse my writings with like "Happy Trails" journal to a "as the tumble weed rolls" on something like a 3/1 or 4/1 ratio. The "as the tumble weed rolls"(serious ones) are so much harder to write, because they are usually written in the third person. So they require verbatim chat logs to maintain accuracy.))



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