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Happy Trails (entry 5)

 
Keith Rawkings's picture
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((From the diary of Keith Rawkings))

 

 

 

Galloped like hell outa that shootout. Don’t know, don’t care anymore. Head still hurts from the bullet fragment. Kept going on north ‘til I hit that little town a Hope Springs. I saw a nice lookin’ cornfield nearby, and I thought it might be a nice place to go git drunk. But I remember goin’ on up to the edge a that field and seeing a strange site.

It was a bunch a farmers standin’ around not workin’. I saw a few cute bunny rabbits poking around the crop line (I know they’re pests, but they’re jist sooo cute!) and I decided to poke my nose up in the situation. There was a gal out there who was standin’ on the edge of that field, with her rifle drawn, and he looked like she was a comtemplatin’ somethin’. I always take the chance to chat with the women folk, so naturally I introduced ma self. She said her name was Autumn, and asked if I was a “vista.” I said “well yeah, I guess you could say that.” I asked her if she was hired to kill them bunnies in the field. I was relieved when she told me “not yet,” cause I jist can’t stand the site of them cute lil bunnies gitin shot and skinned!

 

I used to have me a bunny when I was a kid. His name was Michael Jackson the Rabbit, and he was all brown and furry like a wild bunny. He was jist so darn cute and lovable and harmless. Most wrong he ever did was poop and pee on outside his litter box.

 

She told me some lil  tid bit about a job she jist got done doin’ for these farmers, and that was basically findin’ some lost farmer in the cornfield who needed an escort out from these “vicious rabbits.” Apparently he didn’t realize he could just go around the corn field. I laughed at the situation. I explained the ol’ coot was probably drunk on corn liquor mash (common thing with corn farmers) and that them bunnies weren’t vicious, he was just too wasted to understand the difference.

Well this gal kept insistin’ I was wrong. I pointed to the harmless bunnies runnin’ all around the edge of the field, and showed her what I meant. She said “yeah, but the ones in the field are vicous.” I was jist laughin’ at this crazy girl and told her there was no worry, them bunnies easily scare, no reason to be shootin’ at em, she could just scare em off and collect some chips for a days work well done. I demonstrated by sneakin’ up on one of them cute little critters real slow like. The little rabbit gave me a look, and I expected him to be hippity hoppin’ in the other direction by now, but he was such a curious little fella. For a moment I thought he was gonna come on up and present himself for a lil' head rub like my little Michael Jackson used to do. I held out my hand… And the god dang thing bared it’s fangs, (I’m not kiddin, thems was some dang two inch fangs it had!) and it lunged out and bit me! I was so shocked I barely had time to pull my shotgun out before it tried takin off my fingers. I put it down immediately.

 

Now I turned to the girl back on the edge a tha field and she just gave me a look like “I told ya so.” I started lookin’ around the entire field and saw that these rabbits in the field were not the same ones I saw outside of it. No, these one’s had that same stone cold look, and they did not seem afraid of me at all.  I do not understand what kind of crap poisoned them or mutated em, or whatever the hell, but I saw that I could not just stand the idea of walkin’ away from this without resolution. I could not honor the memory of ma sweet little bunny with all of them nasty little Bunnicula bastards runnin’ around that field, terrorizing the farmers. It would be just another reason for people to raise bunnies in cages for meat and skin the fur off a em.

 

I decided to team up with this gal and take that job cleanin’ out the field of these unnatural vermin. The deal was I didn’t want nothin’ from em, she could keep all the furs and meat. I jist wanted this whole business done, and quickly. After spending some time clearing out that field, it was gitin to about evenin’ and the work was done. I was very upset about it all. Autumn thanked me, and we parted ways. I really needed to whet the whistle now, and drown out some memories.

 

I mosied on over to the bar. It was dead there, but that was jist fine by me. I wanted to be alone anyway. I put a couple back to calm the nerves down a bit. Head didn’t hurt as much anymore. I just kinda stood there and spaced out for I don’t know how long. I did start to hear some voices outside, and I decided to git up and go have a smoke on the porch.

 

When I got out there I saw a few people at once. One of 'em was that same odd character named “Jax” who I saw gitin’ his ass beat at the Rack last Sunday by Khalil. He is some weird feller. He didn’t say much, he just kept eyein up this real fancy painting he was holdin’ onto. It looked pretty rare. I commented on it being a “Monet” and how much I jist loved impressionist works such as that. Although I do fancy the most the one with the naked lady on a picnic with the two gentlemen in the park.

 

Saw some fine lookin’ gal out there in the picnic bench just kinda starin’ at the sun goin’ down. I jist happened to be doin’ the same thing, so naturally I came on up and offered her a cigar. She actually accepted, and I lit it up for her as it crossed across those perky little lips she had. She had some dark, tight, leather pants, a cute lil halter top, long dark hair, and sexy eyes. Didn’t get too far with her, though, and honestly I was jist too tired to want to. I was just kinda enjoyin’ the sunset with another person.

 

Didn’t really matter much that I found her attractive and all, cause I looked over ma shoulder and saw some gentlemen dressed in a black trench coat and cowboy hat walkin’ on over in our direction like he had one thing on his mind only. He tipped his hat to me as I did in the same to him in response and when he said “hi” to the young gal, I saw her face light up in delight as if she knew em and was waiting for em.

Then it hit me. Those two hooked up at the Rack the other night like, right in front of me. The shit you remember and the shit you forget when you are three sheets to the wind. It was clear I should be gitin on outta the way and I was tired anyway. I excused myself from the two and the lady thanked me for the cigar.

As I was trottin’ on outta there on ma horse, I saw that Jax character on the roof of his car, moving his painting around in the air like he was trying to mount it up on some imaginary wall, and he couldn’t quite figure out where it would look right. I hollered over in his direction to “put it on the hood a ya car!” Yep, that would look real nice there. Hope he does that.

Then I left...

 

Comments

Muse's picture

((Hahahaha, I saw ' I saw a few cute bunny rabbits poking around the crop line' and I knew hilarity was on the way. You had me laughing out loud again. Keith's adventures are a hoot!))

Aerinn's picture

((Have to agree with Muse - this was great fun to read!))

aerinnforumsig7.jpg

Keith Rawkings's picture

((glad I brightened up your day))

Iniya's picture

((Heh, Keith's adventures are amusing to read - simple everyday stuff that's of no real consequence, just random musings. Fun stuff. :) ))

Hugs: There are far too many broken hearts.  Fortunately, anyone can be a mechanic!

Rykers's picture

((Quite entertaining :) always nice to see more lighthearded stuff too ))

(This is the first one of yours I have read to be honest.  Very light ,funny, and enjoyable!  *goes back to dig up the others now*)



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