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Hope Springs, AZ - Passing Time

 
Jeassiah Black's picture
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I sat here today, looking at my own journal, thoughts of other journals I have had in possession, have read not my own. Another than had been in my hands, unread but a promise kept and it is gone to only one can guess where.

And I look at mine again, writing but not writing at the same time.

Last couple of days have seen some I come to care for fighting with each other an it pains me I can do little to help, or more so, am part of the problem. I have seen a few some deem "mad" or eccentric come into the bar, talk and some few things made sense then that for some reason I can not remember now what was said, only an oppertunity was there...and I didnt grasp it fully.

The peace we thought we'd earned by dealing with those south of us is fleeting it seems to me. I find myself having a hard time holding onto elements of myself that once were, the submissive in me retreating and I miss her. The side that learned darker secrets that would have had me killed and removed from the net by my former masters is surging forth, and it bothers me a little that I am ok with that.

Why?

I dont know. I look at something that a friend gave me. An injector of a sort, one he said would change me, can improve many things withen to enable me to survive this time and place better. But at what cost I dont even know, nor did he. I'd shown it to reavy, and I think her knowing I have it scares her some what.

The note I'd received days ago, seems to be nothing came of it. I'd prepaired myself for some mystry meeting, talked to some people about it, and nothing. Why am I dissapointed nothing happened? I should not feel that way, but I do.

Dear Priest kings, what is happening to me? Where is the girl I know I am hiding? Even surrounded by people who tell me I am important to them, loved by one...I am starting to feel...lost.

-end entry-

Comments

Nisha Samara's picture

(( In another world on the opposite side of the sun..smiling eyes would gleam from over a veiled face and say ...  remembered steel around ones throat speaks to ones heart.. it is always there

Jeassiah Black's picture

*Shiver!*



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