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She'll be here soon. (NSFW?)

 
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Haven't done a journal on here in a while so I thought I'd let out my frustrations into words. This is going to be a bit darker than my previous journal entry, so be warned, or be enthralled. This journal is centered around my second character, Hazel Fawn. In this journal, I may have the tendency to flip flip in-between past and present tense. I'm too lazy to re-read and edit it out. Sorry if it sucks ass. I'm a bit sick and this is for therapeutic relief. Remember, kids. Bitches love constructive criticism.


 

Hazel Fawn // age 18 // pre-Fall

"C'mon, just one more night. One more night, and we're done for good. We need the money this time, sis."

I hesitated. "No way. What would Dad think if he knew we were..."

"Knew we what? He doesn't have to know we quit our jobs to do this."

"You didn't quit your job... I did."

"Yeah, yeah, I was fired. So what? It was only because I wouldn't have sex with my boss, Mr. Caputo. That's slutty and he's gross."

"And what we're doing isn't any worse?"

"It's for Dad. I would do anything for him. Would you?"


Cold, so cold. I'm wearing next to nothing.

"One more drink. Loosen up. You'll do great." What did she say? Everything's smudgy.

I step out. Loud people, louder music, blurry faces.

"More! More! Take it off!" Indistinct, loud voices. Alcohol and smoke. I stumbled along to the vibrations, dazed and confused. Cheering. Mind and body aren't working together.

Where was Fawn? She brought me here.

"Look at that body!" Whistling. My head is pounding.

"Fawn?" I whispered, staring blankly into the crowd. A hand reaches for my ankle. They slip off my high heel. I stumble and nearly fall.

It felt like hours before I was pulled off stage. Another mindless girl struts clumsily on. The crowd hisses and groans.

"Where's Fawn." I ask someone back stage. "Your sis is 'bout to go on stage, hon. You two are our stars! The spotlight loves ya, and so do our paying customers." I started to feel woozy. I decided I'd sit down, collect my thoughts, and wait for her. She'll be here soon, I hope.

"Hey there, star of the show." A rough voice greeted me. He sat beside me on the couch. "Your sister is drop-dead gorgeous, and you're not too bad looking, either." He was puffing on a cigar. I suppose he's one of those hot shots Fawn always spoke about, the ones that pay to sleep with club girls. "Thanks." I responded, half-heartedly. He rests his hand on my thigh. "Hey. Why so down? You look like you need some cheering up." I sit there, motionless. He'll hurt me if I say no. Fawn will be here soon.

"Saturn, babe, could you get us a room and a pair of guards? I'd like quality time." A lump catches in my throat. I don't want this to happen, but I don't want Fawn to hate me for not taking the opportunity. We need the money to help pay off Dad's bills. Fawn will be here soon.

We're alone. He presses his cigar against an ashtray. The man straightens out a couple lines of cocaine on the nightstand. He beckons me to snort a line. I inhale, tears breaking from my eyelids. It burns my nostrils. I don't like how this feels, but Fawn will be here soon to help me.

He growls and throws me against the bed. His fingernails dig into my skin as his roughly kisses me. He tastes like tobacco. I am afraid, but Fawn will be here soon.

He rips off what is left of my clothes and bites down on my neck. I wince, but the drugs and alcohol numb the pain with a rippled effect. He unzips his pants before he takes me. It hurts, but Fawn is probably coming to get me right now.

He smacks my ass once, twice, three times, maybe even more, I lost count. I feel used and dirty. Fawn should be here by now...

"Fuck yeah... I've got the beautiful star of the show all to myself." He purrs in my ear as he takes me from behind and I continue to cry. "You're perfection..." I've given up hope as I let my body go limp.

He lets out a grunt and tosses me aside, leaving me on the bed. Everything hurts. My senses are coming back, but slowly. I pant heavily as I lay on my stomach.

He sits on the side of the bed and fixes himself up before standing and going to the door. "She's as stiff as a board." I hear him complain to someone at the door.

"You get what you pay for, Caputo. 250, up front." A sultry feminine voice says, leaning against the door, but out of sight.

"Two-fifty for that hot mess? Hell no. You've gotta be fuckin' crazy."

"Three-hundred and no less." I hear the reloading of a chamber.

"Fifty dollars and a "fuck you", bitch." He sucks on his middle finger before popping it out. I hear gunfire and ruckus from the club.

"Hazel... Hazel!" Fawn. She finally came for me. In her hands is a gun, some money, and whatever items were on the man. "We need to get out of here." I squint my eyes in anger.

"You sold me out! You made me have sex with him for... for money! How could you!" She helps me onto my feet and hands me the gun.

"It was what we had to do. With this money, we can help Dad out."

"You're... you're insane! You killed that man!"

"Get the hell over it, sis. This is real life. I need you to stop following me around like a lost puppy and depending on me for everything. I may be your big sister, but I'm not your damn momma." Her words felt like pepper in my eyes. I'm absolutely dumbfounded. "Let's go, now."

She gives me her jacket, a pair of pants and my sneakers and leads me blindedly through a dark hallway to the club's back exit. We exit into an even darker alley, no streetlights, no moonlight, nothing. We her sirens in the distance, far away. Fawn takes the gun from me and deposits it into a dumpster, along with the stray items from his pockets. We continue down the alley in silence until we see street lights.

Breaking the silence, she speaks up. "Good news is... we have enough money for Dad to pay off his debt, and more." I scoff. "Bad news is, little sister's innocence is gone and she's scarred for life, but now we can afford therapy! Hooray!" I feel a hard smack against my cheek. "Shut the fuck up, princess."

"No! I won't. Do you really think Dad would've approved of what you and I did today?" Fawn became more aware of the footsteps walking towards the two girls.

A group of men that left the club were heading their way. "Hazel, really, shut the fuck up." She ducked back into the alley. "Do you think he would've said, "We're strapped for cash. Fawn, dear, will you send your baby sister to a club and get her absolutely fucking wasted and high until she submits into sleeping with a disgusting man for money? Thanks, you're a doll!' The fuck he wouldn't." A man slid up from behind and pointed a gun at me. Fawn stepped in the way, blocking the bullet with her own body. With a scream, her lifeless body fell to the pavement in a pool of blood. I was backed into a corner. There was no where left to go. I wasn't sure what to do. Fawn is gone. Hope is lost.

Car lights and sirens. Gunshots rang through the air. A group of men with shotguns and rifles had come to my rescue, shooting the men who had shot Fawn. I felt someone pull me into a warm embrace. "Hazel Grace Owens..." Dad.

"Dad... I'm sorry... I'm so sorry..." There was no wrist-slapping. There was no "I told you so" speech. There was only comfort and tears. Dad and his police officer friends had come to help when someone reported a shooting at the club. The men were arrested. The club was shut down. To keep the bills paid, I started a new job at a rifle factory and started therapy to forget about the night at the club. 

She was right, I would do anything for him, just like he would do anything for me.

Comments

Engel's picture

(( I happened to read this with the perfect music background. Really good building up of the tension - I loved it. Maybe adding some FE details would help this story feel more in tune with the post-apo setting (unless it's an old memory)).


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