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Nine (part 13)

Joe Spivey's picture
Submission type:

Joe’s face set into one of someone listening to their great aunt Betty telling him everything that has happened to her this week. Eventually there was a gap when Tuki paused for breath and Joe jumped into it.

“Well, that’s great, great. Say, I’m looking at this huge glass jar thing and it’s got this label on it and, well, I’m guessing it’s medical or something. But anyway, the label says ‘Acardiac Twin’. I that, er. Is that somethi… Oh. Oh right. Erm, no I can’t. No, sorry, there’s nothing like that actually in the jar… Yes, sorry. No, if therehad ‘ave been then, sure I’d bring it over for you. So, this thing was definitely in there then, not just… Oh, I see, they make the label afterwards. Well, thanks anyway. Sure, yeah. I’ll come over sometime… I’d love to see the baby. No, I would… Look, I have to go, my ear’s falling off bye. Thanks. Bye.”

Joe broke the connection. He cursed under his breath and hit the collar controls again.

“Chalky? Look, grab one of the lads and…”

“Joe! Are you coming? We’re about ready to cut the cake.”

“Yes, my love. Give me one minute.”

Joe turned away from the doorway and hissed into the mic.

“No not you! Listen, get yer arse over to that fancy candy seller and buy one of them big glass candy jars. Fill the thing full of those posh sweets he flogs and get it over here sharpish.”

Breaking the connection again, Joe lifted the boys’ birthday present and carefully carried it down the hall to the front door. Being as quiet as he could he opened the door and left the jar on the top step.

With the front door now closed again, Joe took a deep breath and steeled himself for the horrors of a kid’s birthday party.

Twenty minutes into, and ten minutes after the cake cutting, the doorbell chimed. Joe was out of his seat before Silja.

“That’s fer me. Back in a jiffy.”

At the front door again, Joe took delivery of the big new jar with ‘Candy’ embossed across the front inside an equally embossed fancy scroll. He nodded to the jar he had left on the step.

“Get rid of that. Burn the contents. DO NOT eat those sweets, they’ll likely kill you.”

On tip-toe again Joe put the replacement jar in the vacant space on the couch. He stood back and looked at it. It was obviously not the same jar. Joe shook his head, he’d cross that bridge when he was chased over it.

Returning to the party, Joe greeted the look Kirsten gave him with a smile and an exaggeratedly mouthed ‘I’ll explain later’. Then he looked down at the dish that had appeared on the table in front of him. His shoulders slumped under the weight of parental responsibility.

“Oh look. Jelly and ice-cream… My favourite.”


Lance Striker's picture

(( Ha, I also have a great aunty Betty who does that. Must be an English staple.

Lonely are the brave...

JeassiahBlack's picture

((ohh the trouble such a jar could cause if it 'somehow' wandered away before Joe's minion could destroy it...hehehe.

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