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Getting Ahead

 
Veronica Volt's picture
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Veronica had driven the buggy down this road many times towards New Flagstaff. She knew every hole, every rock, every plant in the road to avoid. Left - avoid the hole - right - avoid the large rock - right again - avoid the plant growing up - left - avoid the big hat.

Big hat?

Veronica stopped and jumped from the buggy to investigate.

It was a very big hat. The type of hat which can protect not just you from the sun but also a few friends. The type of hat which could save a nasty landing when jumping from the Waffelhaus roof. The type of hat you do not usually see left in a road. Perhaps someone had driven along and the wind had removed the hat without them noticing? Perhaps the hat was taken by a bird and dropped? Perhaps it had fallen when someone tried handstand number two? Veronica bent down, picked up the hat, and immediately jumped back with surprise.

Under the hat was a head. Veronica had not expected this.

That was unexpected, Veronica thought to herself, it is unusual to find a head under a hat. Well actually it was not, but Veronica knew what she meant. The head was upright, the eyes closed, almost peaceful, a man, or head of a man. Perhaps it had also fallen off when the hat fell off. Veronica thought more clearly, no, that was not right, if a driver had no head she would see the vehicle at the side of the road. It was logical sense. Surely, the driver would stop and look for the head.

What to do? Go tell someone in town? Could she know where to return to? She could remember the holes, rocks and plants but heads are different. What if someone hit it? A head on collision is not good. Can heads roll? There was only one answer, she must take the hat, and the head to the town and find their owner.

Slowly, with purpose delay she took the hat to the buggy, dreading the next task. Eventually she returned to the head, and with a deep breathe, grabbed the hair and pulled.

'Arghhhh! What are you doing girl?'

Veronica jumped back with surprise the second time that day. The eyes blinked and the head spoke again.

'I said what are you doing? Do you often pull peoples hair?'

'I... errr... sorry... it was... but you are... ummm.... a head' Veronica stammered.

'I have a head of course, how can i speak without one?'

'But... but... but... you are alive?'

'Of course. I was sleeping, tired. I had a really bad day.'

'But... but... but...'

'I was walking toward the town when i fell into a hole, a deep hole to my neck.'

'You are whole?'

'Yes, a hole. Can you pull me out? I must have been in here two or three hours.'

'Umm, yes, of course. I will... ummm-'

'Not the ears!'

'Oh yes, sorry. I will-'

'Not the hair! Look, this is not working, you go to the town, get help. I will wait here.'

'Umm...okay,. Yes, good idea. Okay, ummm, good bye.' Veronica walked back to the buggy.

'Hey!' the head called. 'What about the hat?'

'Oh yes, sorry,' Veronica said. She fetched the hat and returned placing it on the head.

'Okay, good.,' the head said from under the hat. 'You go ahead and get help.'

Veronica drove fast to New Flagstaff, avoiding every hole, every rock and every plant in the road, because she knew each one, but you know this already. Let us jump ahead.

...arrived....town...almost hit the mailbox...rushed into....

'A what? You found a what?' the storekeeper asked again.

'A head, in the road. I found a head,' Veronica said before explaining what had happened.

The story of the head in the road spread like headline news, and soon many in the town were talking about it. Many jumped on horses, bikes, into buggys, cars, or wore best boots and followed Veronica back to where she found the hat and the head.

But they were not there. Hat or head. Head or hat. Just a hole. A deep empty hole. A crowd of people stood around it looking into, but all saw the same, nothing, one deep empty hole.

'Where is it?' a voice from the crowd called out.

'It was here!' Veronica replied. 'It was here!'

A mummour in the crowd began, rising to a loud chatter before someone said louder than anyone 'I am going home' and after two minutes the crowd had gone. Veronica looked at the hole again and then jumped in her buggy and drove toward New Flagstaff avoiding every hole, every rock and - you know the rest.

All was quiet around the hole. Nearby, from behind a bush a man wearing a big hat appeared, pulling his pants straight, glad that a nearly embarassment was avoided. What was all the noise? he thought to himself. He walked back to the road. Nice of the garage man to help, he thought. The tow buggy was useful pulling him out. He staightened his hat and then began walking toward the Town forgetting about the hole and immediately falling into it.

A big hat lay in the road, and from under the hat spoke a voice, 'Oh sh-' you know the rest.


Comments

Joe Spivey's picture

((Epic! Thank you V... and I'll have a double of whatever it is your are on.

Stick with me kid and you'll be farting through silk.

Hyle Troy's picture

Hyle smiles , remembering the little chat she and Veronica had while drinking coffe late night.  ( Lovely story hun xx )

I would rather die peacefully in my sleep, like Grandad, than screaming, like his passengers

notheredave's picture

Gives new meaning to Term  Stealing giving getting  recieving revenging "HEAD"  stealing . Uhave a wonderfull franchise on these type your stories U should anthologies em . They would in a better world .

FBb9jL8m4DJnothereIS 43 atom moo 2



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