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Dusty Journal, Page Four

JeassiahBlack's picture
Submission type:

Dear Journal,

Its been a few weeks since I held this book, much less time to write actually.

I finally got to meet her, Reavy. The impressions, the feelings, they are all there, so elusive still, but other feelings are clear to me now. She is very important to me, that much I am certain of. She is also important to Hyle, that much mroe I understand now, listening to what she had to tell me, and what I have been able to understand from talking to Hyle too. I think after the last couple of weeks, Hyle thinks I am trying to get into bed with her, but...its not quiet true. I mean, she is a beautifal woman, I can easily be attracted to even, but I dont think she sees me that way either, maybe even more distant and wary because who I am to Reavy. That saddens me a little to think of that and to think she might be afraid that I aim to break up what she has found with Reavy.

Maybe I am rambling and I dont undertand compleatly. No, that is not quiet true. I do not understand certain things at all, and sometimes I let my own emotions cloud my judgement, but I suppose that makes us human, even if we are clones after all this time. I think the bottom line is, as reavy said, there is a place in her Heart for me, a Hole waiting to be filled as she said. I am unclear if I am that which she needs to fill that hole anymore, and it scares me a little to think about it even now after seeing her several weeks ago. I am also still unsure if Hyle will stay with Reavy for long if I do remain in their life. I hope so, even though i have yet to see them both together, something feels right about them being as much togetehr as I feel I was with Reavy.

I'm rambling again I think. Hmph, what ever.

There have been a couple of Hyle's parties since I met with Reavy, and I have had a great time at both of them. Meeting some people, getting used to being around again is good for me I think. There is one young woman who has shown up each time, and more I talk with her, even a little, the more I think there is something there about her. I think she is somewhat like me in many ways, the way I used to be. I do recall one comment she made, something about we had kissed once a long time ago, and she was scared of Reavy, but I am unclear why she would be scared of her. I will have to ponder this more, catch up to the young woman and truely find out what she desires.

I've started work on rebuilding my ancient car after it was blown up, still not so sure I believe Holy that I'd do that to my won car. The parts are being abnormally expensive, seems both the Techs and the Travelers are being stubborn about giving up the parts I need to rebuild it compleatly. Oh some few things I have been able to do from scratch, but alas, a few things are beyond even my skill, and they MUST have what i need to finish the work. *sigh* I mightt have to join a faction after all this time and either work something out, or beat it out of them. Oh what fun...not.

That which yeilds is not always weak.


Joe Spivey's picture

((A ménage à trois... involving Reavy? It's not going to end well lol. And the young woman who is scared of Reavy? I'd call that having a good sense of self preservation.

I'm gonna need a bigger bag of popcorn for this one and maybe a pillow or two and a box of tissues... maybe a mop for the blood.

Stick with me kid and you'll be farting through silk.

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