Jump to Navigation

Of duct tape, bridges and gravity.... all in a day's work

Hanne Berg's picture
Submission type:


Hanne Berg drove her interceptor south,she eased her foot off the accelerator pedal, after all there was no rush. 

"Enjoy the drive."  Hanne smiled to herself as she reached down between her legs and eased the car seat back a notch. She opened the window and reached her arm into the warm slipstream. She was feeling rather pleased with herself, things were going nicely to plan. Hanne smiled as she saw the outskirts of Serenity Falls come into view. Although Serenity as not her destination. Her destination was the ruins of the old bridge a few kilometers south. She knew Dwight would be waiting for her. Dwight, and a guest.


" Efficiency, see?. Thats why her clients pay such a generous fee to The Ranyhyn Company. Miss Berg likes efficiency. They know she gets the job done."

Dwight Frye sat rather primly on a camp-chair. On his knee was an unfolded clean white napkin, upon which sat a white china plate which contained the remaining morsels of a rather agreeable Ploughman's lunch.

" Thats why she gave me the job, you see. Because of my efficiency.... at the Union tax office.......  "  Dwight continued praising his employer in between eating tidy mouthfuls of his lunch.

"Obviously she had heared how well I investigated Mr. Spivey's Tax affairs... So she offered me a 'golden hello'... and here we are.."

 Dwight paused and smiled at his captive audience, then took the fob-watch out of his waistcoat pocket to check the time.

"Miss Berg will be here shortly."  

Dwight carefully folded the crisp white napkin, then brushed a few crumbs from his sharply creased trousers. He then folded the camp-chair and placed it into the trunk of his nearby car, from which he produced a set of grey overals and proceeded to get into them.

Dwights' head tilted as the sound of a car engine became audible above the sound of the wind....and the sound of muffled protetstations, stifled by a strip of silver duct tape.

" In fact, this sounds like her car now." 

Hanne rounded the last corner just in time to see Dwight button the last on his overalls. She also saw their 'guest' whom Dwight had securely bound to a post beside the final approach to the bridge remains. She stoped her car and cut the engine. Opening the door, she stepped out, both feet first before standing, of course. keeps the knees together.

Alvin Sommerbee groaned however. he felt that horrible sinking feeling in his guts as he recognised the ice- blue eyes and blonde hair of Miss Hanne Berg. 

"Bitch." He cursed into the sticky side of the duct tape which sealed his mouth and kept the words at bay.

Of course last night she was wearing black high heels, a black short skirt and a bolero type jacket made from furs and some feathers. The jacket almost concealing but not enough of her decollitage. But last night he knew her as Krystal McKinley..   well right up until the point the mickey-finn had laid him out, anyway.

"Nice to see you again, Mr. Sommerbee. Thankyou for attending this meeting. I see you have already met my assistant, Mr. Frye."

Sommerbee grunted and pulled furiously at his bindings but they held firm, another one of Dwight Frye's talents.

"So. Alvin Sommerbee. Your exploits read like a novel. Murder, rape, kidnap, torture....   and always the victim was female....  add to that, greivous bodily harm, affray,   and again, the victim always a girl. Never a man...  typical.  Huyy, men like you make me....... " 

Hanne stopped herself, reminded herself to be proffessional...  then resumed her summation of the piece of human filth bound before her.

" I would expect you had the same ideas in mind as regards Miss Krystal McKinley last night......  but it seems you got sloppy hmm? she...  or rather I.. beat you at the draw.. as it were."

Hanne allowed herself a wry smile for a moment.

" And of course, your biggest mistake was sexually assaulting a girl in Trader Flats who, just happened to be the daughter of one, Fat Eric, who I am happy to say, enlisted the services of The Ranyhyn Company. Which is why I arranged this little meeting....  "

Hanne turned to Dwight. 

"Dwight, you will find a fresh box of duct tape in the trunk of my car. Would you be so kind as to make Mr. Sommerbee comfortable.. ish? "

Dwight dutifully complied with his instructions. After fetching the box of tapes he proceeded to wind duct tape around  and around Sommerbee's body until Sommerbee himself resembled a silver Tutankhamun, with only this face and eyes left to view.

This done, Frye untied the still protesting but immobile Sommerbee from the post and hoisted him firemanlike over his shoulder, thence the threesome make thier way to the end of the bridge deck, which stuck out like a concrete tongue out over the canyon lip. Dwight lay Sommerbee down next to, and so he could read the words "Danger 1000 ft drop!"

"Now, you may be wondering why I have Mr. Frye going to all this trouble. "

Hanne frowned  and feigned concern 

"You see, the problem with clones, as you know well, is that, if you merely shoot them, they come back next day just the same, maybe even madder. thats a problem to us in the .. umm.. investigation industry. " she smirked a little. 

"So.. IF... you survive the ..." Hanne looked at the sign. ".. the 1000 feet drop... " Hanne frowned for a moment as she made a calculation to change feet into her more familiar meters. "Anyway, the bridge, the duct tape stop two things happening. firstly the lifenet refuse collection process, in the case of your gravity induced death.Because down there is too radiactive for them to work"

" Secondly, the tape, well it takes the varions toothed and clawed mutations of fauna down there AGES  to get it off a body, so...  really..  I guess you hope for a quick impacting death rather than a slow, chewy, clawey bleedy kind of end.. hmm?... I personally hope for the second option"

Hanne leaned down, and smiled her satisfaction into Sommerbee's wide eyes

"Is been a delightfull meeting, Dwight will show you out. Goodbye Mr. Sommerbee."

Hanne nodded to DwightFrye who then obediently rolled Sommerbee into free fall.

Dwight and Hanne listened out for a few moments until they heared the thump from below

" Miss Berg?"   Dwight looked at his employer. " The usual bonus? "

Hanne Berg smiled back and handed Dwight a brown envelope.



Joe Spivey's picture

((Loved the counterpoint between business meeting and murder :) and i'm going to steel 'slow, chewy, clawey, bleedy kind of end' if you don't mind. And duct tape, ahhhhhh duct tape, such a wonderful thing. Civilisation would take a step backwards without it.

Stick with me kid and you'll be farting through silk.

Hanne Berg's picture

((  sometimes I really regret deleting Dwight, Joe. He was a great taxman ! :)  Also you refered to Berg and Frye as Burk and Hare ( of course i had to look the names up to appreciate the reference) which made me smile. You called Hanne'rip-your-head-off-and-piss-down-your-neck' Berg.   Idk why, after all, business is business. Isn't it?

......  now,  this fellow DeStefano...   hmmm, sounds like an interesting case.

"Duct Tape. turning "No ! No ! No !  into mmph mmph mmph since 1942"

Michael Destefano's picture

Here is to hoping Reavy and that smexy woman wont gang up....


((Nice read ;-) 

((thanks to the glories of game mechanics, most people can survive that 1000 foot drop. Though surviving is... well, relative.))

I can scavenge trash... but this? This is rubbish! - Post Fall scavenger problems.

Hanne Berg's picture

ah well, honey, You see, I LIKE it when they survive the fall....     

"Duct Tape. turning "No ! No ! No !  into mmph mmph mmph since 1942"

Main menu 2

Blog | by Dr. Radut