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Between A Rock and a Crazy Place - Part 2

Veronica Volt's picture
Submission type:

"Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one."

Albert Einstein

'What are we going to do Dude? I mean... will she dissolve or something?'

The geologist known as Rocky looked to his Vista friend. 'What? What the hell are you talking about?'

'She is one of those collar wearerers dude. They dissolve if they... you know... when they... you know... if they... you know...'

Both men looked back to Veronica sleeping on the floor of the smoke filled geology lab. More smoke crept from the end of the large cigarette held in the hand of Rocky. From the musicplayer the Stones continued to play, although quieter now were. The situation demanded concentration, the volume had been lowered.

'She is not going to dissolve,' Rocky said. 'She is sleeping.'

The Vista, Wayne Blumen, known as Flowers, looked to Rocky, limp blond hair falling down over his bloodshot eyes and limper blond hair hanging from his chin trying to be a beard. 'You sure?' he asked.

'Of course,' Rocky said. 'Look, you can see her breathing.' He passed the large cigarette to Flowers who took a deep suck from it.

Flowers looked back to Veronica, blew smoke from his mouth and narrowed his eyes until focus returned enough for him to see that Rocky was right.

'You think it was the smoke Dude?' Flowers asked.

'Of course it was the smoke,' Rocky said. 'This stuff of yours is up there in the clouds.' He waved his hands either side of his face when he said in the clouds. His wild curly hair wobbled a little.

'Well you know the secret of that,' Flowers said with a smile passing the large cigarette back to Rocky.

'No, what is it?' Rocky asked.

'Creeper dung,' Flowers said.

'Creeper dung?' Rocky said surprised. 'You grow it in creeper dung?' he asked before taking a deep suck on the large cigarette.

'No. I add it before we smoke it,' Flowers said. Rocky suddenly spluttered and coughed.

'Are you okay Dude?' Flowers said with hint of concern.

'You are telling me i am smoking creeper dung?'

'Yeah Dude, good shit.'


'Yeah Dude?'

'Do not call me Dude'

'Sorry Dude'

Deciding he had enough of the large cigarette, he dropped it into the empty bottle on the table. The two men looked back to Veronica who was still sleeping on the floor.

Finally Flowers decided to say his observation. 'She is so... purple.'

Rocky looked to Flowers. 'Yeah, trippy.' He began to wave his hands but stopped himself.

'What do we do Dude?'

'We have to move her out of here, let her breathe the air outside.'

'But how? I mean where? I mean what to hold?' Flowers seemed concerned.

'You lift her arms,' Rocky instructed. 'I lift her legs'

'Err... okay Dude... okay... Like this?'

'No lift her, not just the arms. Ready?'

'No. But okay...'


The two men lifted Veronica. Suddenly her eyes opened and stared at Flowers. 'The chicken king!' she screamed at him. 'The chicken king is coming! The chicken King!'

Flowers dropped the arms and Veronica fell back to the ground and to sleeping. Rocky let go of the legs. 'What are you doing?' he said annoyed to Flowers.

'Dude! What was that? What the hell was that?' Flowers said distressed.

'She was just having hal-oo-sin-a-schen,' Rocky said. He waved his hands either side of his head when he said hal-oo-sin-a-schen. 'You know like when you thought Einstein was talking.'

'No way Dude,' Flowers protested. 'That was more trippy than trippy. Voodoo! That was it! Voodoo!'

'What?' Rocky said puzzled before thinking for few seconds and then grinning and saying 'She was having a voo-doo-sin-a-schen!'

Both men began laughing hysterically. It was a full three minutes before they stopped. Ten seconds before they started again. Two minutes more before they finished.

'Okay, back to lifting her,' Rocky said.

'I am not sure of this,' Flowers said. 'Why cannot your woman do it?'

Rocky sighed then shouted to a door leading to another room. 'Pebble! Pebble!'

'What?' came a womans voice from the other side of the door.

'Can you help us?' Rocky shouted to the door.

'I am out' said the voice.

'What?' Rocky said trying to hear.

'I AM OUT!' called Pebble, a little bolder.

Rocky turned back to Flowers. 'Will she help?' Flowers asked.

'Ne, she is out,' Rocky said. 'Just you and me, buddy.'

Flowers sighed. 'Okay... okay...' he said. 'Let do it.'

Rocky lifted the legs. 'Wait! Wait!' Flowers suddenly said.

Rocky dropped the legs. 'What is it?' he asked alarmed.

'Do you have any of the rockcakes left Dude?'




'Guess we move her Dude'

'Do not call me Dude'

'Oh yeah, forgot'

'It is okay'

'Sorry Dude'

Ten minutes later, the two men laid Veronica on the steps outside.

'It begin to rains,' Rocky said holding his hand out.

'The clouds Dude, look at the clouds!' Flowers said delighted. Both men looked up to the sky. 'Looks like-'

'Rockcakes' both men said together. They laughed before becoming silent as both realised the hunger they had.

'Where... where is this?' said a voice. The men looked to Veronica who was blinking bloodshot eyes.

'You are outside the geology lab,' Rocky said. Veronica looked at him then to Flowers who grinned back to her.

'What happened?' she asked.

'You... err... you were sleepy,' Rocky said awkwardly. He waved his hand awkwardly either side of his head when he said sleepy.

Veronica was confused but could find no other explaination. 'Are you Einstein?' she asked.

Rocky laughed. 'No, Einstein is a stone with eyes and feet.' Veronica looked more confused. 'This is Flowers,' Rocky said pointing to his friend. Veronica looked at him. Flowers grinned back.

'The crystal...  the purple Knickknack Crystal... it is in the lab! I must get it!' Veronica said trying to stand.

'No!' Rocky said. 'You stay outside, i will go get it.' He rushed inside the lab and grabbed the crystal from the table, almost knocking over Einstein, before rushing back outside. Einstein shuffled his feet, returned to balance. 'Sie sind alle verrückt,' he said to Mick Jagger who continued to sing.

All the women come and go
Think I'm going mad
Think I'm going crazy


Joe Spivey's picture

((Ha! Thanks for the nostalga trip V.V. (pun intended). I once smoked something that apparently had tiger shit in it. More please... er story, not... not tiger shit.

Stick with me kid and you'll be farting through silk.

Lucille Slater's picture

*Watches through binoculars* Well now, this is interesting.

If'n yew were a few years younger I'd put you over mah knee and paint yer back porch red!

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