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Hellbilly's picture
Submission type:

The rumble of the armored car echoed down the street as the car turned the corner and pulled up inform of the Jail.  The twin mounted guns lowered as the car powered down and Bubba got out.  He stepped up and stopped at the cooler on the porch.

Pulling the cigar from his mouth he shouted “Frosty!!  Why is all the fucking food on the front step, and why does it smell like roadkill around here?”


Joe Spivey's picture

Joe is sitting on the steps of the Ammunition Factory enjoying a few lunchtime cold ones, half asleep in the continuing hot spell. His sleep is disturbed by the far from thunderous patter of many small feet approaching from the left. He lifts a lazy eyelid and watches the dozen or so determined looking urchins trundle past.

"Mind me beer." He growls.

The bloated crocodile of unwashed miniature miscreants bends to flow around Joe's outstretched legs.

"Sorry Joe." "Sorry". "Hey Joe." "Baldy bastard."

The voices dissapear in the direction of the newly opened police pen and Joe's eyelid slides back down over his bloodshoot and unfocused eye. All is peaceful again until Joe's siesta is interupted once more by the return of the juvenile horde. The eyelid drifts reluctantly upwards again.

The same crocodile, this time going the other way but with the same determined tramp of mostly shoeless feet passes in front of the factory steps. This time though, oil and grease covered fingers tightly clutch the more expensive parts of an armoured car that can be removed by the piranah-like attention of expert vehicle strippers, none of which is older than ten.

Joe cuddles the rapidly warming bottle of beer into his folded arms and smiles. Coppers, he thinks, never bloody learn.

((Sorry, just ignore me. :D

Stick with me kid and you'll be farting through silk.

Hellbilly's picture

(( LMAO  that is epic!

What doesn't kill me... better start fucking running.

Canni Belle's picture

Giggling from her ledge-perch, she watches the orphans perform in harmonized disassembly. It reminded her of observing ants coming upon a hapeless cricket and methodically taking it apart and back into the lair. She found the entire thing absolutely hilarious.  

One minute your calm, the next your shooting someone in the face, then your doing your chickendance. If that is not chaos I dont know what is - Aiid

Hellbilly's picture

Bubba steps back out on the porch, Seeing his car stripped down to the frame.  He bites down on his cigar and slowly turns.  Starting down the street he pulls the Hellfire Shotgun from his back and chambers a round.  As he follws the trail of greasy footprints he bellows toward the orpanage.


What doesn't kill me... better start fucking running.

Joe Spivey's picture

The unmistakable and annoying heavy crump of approaching military boots roused Joe from his, by now mid afternoon, nap for a third time. With a minimum of wasted energy he let the long since empty beer bottle slide down the outside of his duster (currently doing double duty as a blanket) to drop between his feet onto the sidewalk. This allowed his right hand to slide unobtrusivly inside. The movement produced an odly placed erection lower down beneath the ubiquitous brown coat. On hearing his loudly bellowed name spurring on his approaching hangover, Joe's thumb pulled back the twin hammers of his ever present friend. Reluctantly opening both eyes to take in the closing threat, Joe extended his left arm. With a lazy motion of his wrist he pointed down the street.

"They went that way."


Stick with me kid and you'll be farting through silk.

Hellbilly's picture

Stopping with one foot on the second step, Bubba smiled warmly from behind his mirrored shades. 

"Afternoon, sir.  Don't care where they went, just would like to request they return.  I would hate to be stuck here without my transportation.  I'd be forced to find other means of occupying my time.  Like say inspecting local businesses, and their dealings.  I'd have time to go through every box and package going in and out exposing exactly what is in them and where it came from.

You would be surprised how many business men here in New Flagg mislabel their products, and who they hide it from.  Unlike yourself of course, who I am sure has nothing to hide from anyone.”

Bubba tips his hat to Joe, “Buy the way say hello to your Misses for me."

Without waiting for a reply, Bubba turned on his heal and headed back to the station.

What doesn't kill me... better start fucking running.

Silja Henningsdottir's picture

Silja was giving Anneka a piggy back nearby.

"Sumt fólk veit, sumt fólk veit það ekki. Og sumt fólk veit ekki að þeir vita það ekki !" She smirked over her shoulder, 

Anneka just giggled and waved at her Poppa. 

Iss eggsackertly wot I said .....    Idd-eee- oot !

Joe Spivey's picture

Despite the encroaching hangover and the sudden need to hide the beer bottles from his nanny and daughter, Joe's ever active brain makes a note to buy a new chair to replace on in a certain seldom visited room... Just in case.

Stick with me kid and you'll be farting through silk.

JeassiahBlack's picture

Jeassiah was having a conversation with Frank the Auctioneer  about the latest available items he had listed when she felt a light tug at the side of her blue gears shirt.

Turning too her left, while dropping her right hand to the hilt of the large blade she was carrying, she fund herself confronted with a swarm of gangly looking children, each clutching parts to a vehicile of some kind, some of the parts she instantly recognised as weapon and engine assemblies. She raised one eyebrow slightly before she spoke, "Yea?"

"Are you the car lady from the other town?" the lead child, likely the one who tugged on her shirt and likely pushed up front by others behind him.

"Ah migh` be. What cin ah do fer yee?" she answered, all the while looking each child ver carefully and making note of exactly what they held until she had a very good idea of what they had and was worth t her and would be on the market.

"We, uh, heard you were looking for car stuff and have some. What'll it be worth to you lady?"

Jeassiah thugh abut that for a moment then smiled slightly as a thought occured to her, "Ahhh, so ka. Yee are childa fr`m Ser Spivey's orphanage, no?"

The answering nods had Her smile a bit more as she reconsidered things she did know, like why her own Tonnue was equiped with a rather nasty electrical selof defense system and what the children were offerong her right now on one of the rare days she'd be in this city on buisiness. Jessaish glanced t her right at Frank, "Well, guess I got what I need this week, see you in a few weeks Frank." while the acutioneer was laughing since he'd seen such a scean so many times in his long years it was almost common place to him and nodded, waving her and the swarm off so he could attend to another customer.

Twenty minutes later, the children each had a few more chips in their pockets, a grape soda in one hand and a sandwhich from the local dinner in the other, heading back home, and Jessaih was exiting town with a car load of parts and a slight smirk that some poor soul out there was having a worse day that she had this week.

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